A Day in the Life of a Teacher Working From Home

I’m a very busy woman

Photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash

My alarm goes off at 7am but just like every other morning, I slept right through it. Thankfully we have a sun that hasn’t been entirely covered up by air pollution so I still woke up at a decent time.

I saw my husband get up to take a shower and our dog promptly came and sat on my chest, trying to tell me she needed to pee. However, despite clearly needing to go out, she promptly fell asleep there which gave me the chance to check Twitter and my countless spam emails.

Yes, it took me nearly an hour to get out of bed. I work night classes and finish up around 9pm every night, so sometimes I have trouble getting up the following morning. While I want to be a productive housewife for my husband, he knows not to expect too much.

I poured myself a coffee in the largest mason jar I could find in our cupboard and filled it halfway with French vanilla creamer like the basic bitch I am.

Sure, I can’t leave my house without a mask or the fear of being killed by a mouth breather but at least I can decorate a fake island and fill it with cute villagers who give me presents every day.

I decided it was too quiet so I put on Netflix in the background on my phone. Initially the goal was to finish the last season of The Office — mind you for the fifth time since lock down — but was recommended Katherine Ryan’s most recent comedy special.

I figured, why not? It’s called “Glitter Room,” can’t be the worst thing ever, right?

I wasn’t finished finding all of the fossils or shaking down every tree on my Animal Crossing island so I powered up the next recommended special, which was Katherine Ryan’s “In Trouble.” I laughed, I cried, I wished for an English baby.

Photo by Yves Alarie on Unsplash

I had just turned off the Switch and was firing up The Sims 4 on the Xbox when I got a phone call. “Megan, could you run over to my house and roll up the windows of my car? I think I forgot this morning.”

Thankfully my FIL lives less than five minutes away so this was a speedy trip.

I’d never been in my FIL’s Mustang before today. I wasn’t that impressed. To be fair, I know nothing about cars.

I decided to do the nice thing and take out his dog while I was there. And obviously I had to take a few extra minutes to take selfies with his dog because he’s incredibly handsome.

My own dog was pleased to see me but deeply offended once she smelled the betrayal on my clothes. “You cheated on me????” she cried while shoving her nose into every crevice possible.

Chowed down on a banana before realizing it was never going to be enough food for me. So I decided to make myself a real breakfast; an everything bagel toasted, a fried egg, cheese, and bacon.

Except we just moved so we don’t currently have a toaster, I couldn’t get the fried egg to flip right, and all we had were the fake bacon bits that are actually made of soy. But you know what they say…

…something about trying and not succeeding but making it work anyway.

Photo by Efe Kurnaz on Unsplash

Ah, my very disappointing brunch was made so I plopped myself down in front of the TV for yet another female comic’s Netflix special. For whatever reason I am greatly drawn to Ali Wong despite both of her comedy specials being mostly about being a mom.

I’m 24 and no where close to being a mom. For now I’m the cool aunt that doesn’t get drunk at birthday parties, okay? But Ali Wong just does something for me with her bits about breast feeding.

Might as well, right? I’m three specials deep. Can’t hurt to go for a fourth.

Five? Sure. Why not?

Hardly even counting at this point.

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Hairy legs? No problem. It’s practically winter, no one’s seeing my pasty thighs anyway.

I then proceeded to stand up and sit down several times because I kept forgetting my water, then my lip balm, then my attendance roster…

Today was the lesson on drinking and driving. I’ve never felt like more of a hypocrite than when I’m telling 16 year old douchebags to not drink alcohol and smoke weed until they’re 21.

A constant necessity in our household

Photo by Sourav Mishra from Pexels

Over 300k crashes a year are caused by people being tired. Coincidentally, I’m tired all the GD time.

It’s easy to become desensitized to this stuff after two years but inevitably a student will confront me about how upsetting it is.

Girl I know, that’s why I tell you they’re depressing. I’m just trying to get paid.

One kid seriously got them all wrong? Bruh, we go over the answers before you turn it in. I make this as easy as possible and you get a 0/10?!

Thank god it’s over. If one more kid asks me about what happens if you don’t actually getting caught driving impaired…

Micellar water to the rescue for my terribly sensitive eye skin

Photo by Charisse Kenion on Unsplash

By far the best of her five specials.

Drift off thinking about how I get to do it all over again tomorrow.

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M. R. Prichard

I’m not confused, I’m just not paying attention. B.S. in English composition, burgeoning gamer girl, and mental health advocate.